Enough

One night when I was in 6th grade I was laying in bed and I started to cry. I was 12 years old, and I was convinced I was ugly. Kids at school were constantly telling me I was wrong because I was heavy, and all around my friends and classmates all seemed to be going out with somebody and I felt very left out.

I got out of bed and found comfort in my mother's arms. She couldn't believe these thoughts I was having. She pulled out my school photo from that year and said, "Look at her. You can't tell me the girl in this picture isn't beautiful." For the first time in my life... I felt pretty enough.

The next summer my future best friend moved in next door. An outcast himself, he was the only person my age who seemed to have enough confidence to stand up for himself. I didn't know it at the time, but that confidence took every ounce of self-love he could muster. Because, you know it's not easy being a closeted gay kid in a farming community. We spent hours on his front porch discussing why it's not important to let others bring you down and what it means to be your own person. For the first time in my life, I felt confident enough.

In 7th grade I entered an essay to Young Authors and it was accepted. I went to a conference and read my piece where it was received with applause and praise. For the first time in my life, I felt talented enough.

As a young adult I met a man who couldn't keep his hands off of me. He made me realize I'm sexy enough.

For a short while I performed amateur stand-up comedy at a local bar. They held a contest for it once a month. At first I bombed. Then I started to get a few laughs. I kept trying until one night I won second place. For the first time in my life... I felt funny enough.

But all this doesn't matter when somebody you love tells you again and again you're not good enough for them. Sure they say a lot of positive things, but when they denote those positive things with reason upon reason as to why you're not enough... you start to wonder to yourself.. Am I enough?

Well... I'm tired of being told I'm not enough for you. Because, I am enough for me. For me, I'm kind enough. I care enough. I listen enough. I love enough. I give enough. I laugh enough. I cry enough. I am outgoing enough. I'm willing enough. I cherish enough. I stand up for myself enough. I'm pretty enough. I'm confident enough. I'm sexy enough. I'm talented enough. If anything... I'm too much for you. So... I've had enough of your excuses. Enough.