The Village Leprechaun

More of a legend than a myth, he ventures out every St. Patrick's day. The small Germanesque town never sees him coming, but says, "Oh yeah" when it realizes it's danced with him before. Every year he puts on the same entertaining show and on March 18th people wake up with a hangover and a vague memory of the decked out Irish man who gave them good luck.

You'll know it when you see him, because his beard is green. Yes.. green. He exchanges the Santa-like white and opts for a much more noticeable emerald hue. You'll take a second look at him and think to yourself "I wonder if that's his natural color?" It isn't. It's just food coloring.

He'll have a beer in his hand, and he won't be nursing it. If it were still legal, you'd also see him with a cigarette... for this reason, he might also be your doorman. As the night goes on, the more brazen he gets. Liquid courage being his pot of gold.

Also, he dances. His arms go one way and his legs go another as he attempts an Irish Jig. The chain on his wallet is his tambourine as his hips get into it. He has no rhythm, just an odd combination of alternate fist pumping and stomping. The smile on his face will distract you from his lack of dancing talent, and you won't have any choice but to join him. Chances are you'll have the time of your life looking like an idiot, too.

Do not fear an alternative motive. He's happily married and only aims to have fun with his merry drinking and dancing. Male or female, he just wants people to dance with him and remind him that it's okay to be a little silly.

By the end of the night his feet will lead him back to his cottage. He'll take three times the necessary steps as he sways down the street singing an Irish tune. St. Patrick's day will be over, and your memory of him will fade like the color in his beard. That is, until next year when the village is reminded again that, yes... we do have a leprechaun and he's a fun time.